You want to be happy for the other parents who are flaunting their child's miracles because deep down you know you would flaunt it too and deep down you are genuinely happy for them. On the surface though anger boils, jealousy bubbles. It's a kick in the gut a blow to your soul...why are other's prayers answered again and again, why?
Insert <pity party> here.
It's ok to feel the way you do. We have all been in your shoes even the family who just got their miracle. Cry, eat an entire bag of chips-family size, or an entire bag of m&m's-not the snack size, go big, party size please!...my point is, go head first into that pity party don't fight it. Scream at God, chew him out for passing by your child yet again when passing out miracles...he knows your pain he watched his son suffer.
It's ok to be angry, sad, jealous...you have to grieve every milestone missed, every failed treatment/procedure. You have to grieve the reality that your child's future will not be what you dreamed of when they were safely tucked away in your belly.
Grieve, throw your pity party, because the next day (ok sometimes a few days later) the fog will lift and you'll realize your child is THE miracle and every moment more you are blessed to spend with them is another miracle. You'll dust yourself off, pull up your big girl pants and continue to fight for the best life you can give to YOUR Miracle.